My Mom, Ahjuma MacGyver

I shaved my mustache and scruff of beard last night. I look 12 and my sink was made into a porcelain pond massacre of spiders in which the bodies were disposed and only the legs of a thousand innocent web designers were left to clog the drain and give you the heebee jeebees.

I just watched Sleepless in Seattle on the E! network with my parents. Mostly my dad... he kept hollering between reading his korean newspaper.

DAD: oh Mag Liar! I know her!
ALEX: Meg Ryan.
DAD: Mag Mag.. what? Mag what?!
ALEX: Meg Ryan.
DAD: Kramer vs Kramer! You've Got Mail! Tom Hanks was sooo young. Mag Liar!

Ok, now my mom is in the kitchen washing dishes Earlier today she hit her head getting into the car and has been trying to find a way to put an ice pack on her head. No joke, she is now washing dishes with an ice pack strapped to the top of her head held together by SARAN WRAP. You may not believe me so i'm going to go make a flip video of it right now.

This post was supposed to be about Austin, Texas but that might have to wait given my mom just turned into the Macgyver of ahjummas.

chadolbaeggo

My stomach is growling

Like a beast of burden after months of plowing

The unforgiving earth and soil,

Toil, toil, toil.

Pouring blood, sweat, and sweet pee pee

Into the hardened ground...

Praying in cow-tongues with cowbells a-ringing

Hoping to high heaven for a wheat uprising

Just so that my master would let me bask

In California fields

Where real cheese comes from happy calfs

Happy calfs grow to happy cows

And happy cows make burgers delicious

And all-you-can eat kbarby dishes.

Leggo my chadolbaeggo.

I'm starving.

The Far Side by Gary Larson

http://www.thefarside.com/

Sergeant Grumbles

Oh Sgt. Grumbles,

Your affinity to the sweet excrements of the species Apis mellifera aka honey bee have proven to be Your curse in a moment of danger and imminent death. Woe to the brothers of Sgt. Grumbles! Their cries fall on honey-soaked ears, deaf to the cries of retaliation..

"Attack, attack, the counter attack!" but to no avail..

The demise of a noble species lays heavy on the sticky breast of Sgt. Grumbles.

May your guilt be slow to remove like the honey glaze in your eyes.

May your sorrow sting forevermore unlike the ineffective, supine efforts of the busy bees protecting their treasures from the greedy tongue of bear grumbles.

OH SGT. GRUMBLES - HOW DEEP WILL YOU FALL INTO THE SWEET GRASP OF SELFISH DESIRES?!?

Your brethren are calling for their one last hope - a hope slowly dwindling into the lustful mouth of one satisfed with temporary sweets. Curses upon you and your kin - for today, the blood of your counter-attacke-less mates are on your sticky fingers. jerk.

Perry Bible Fellowship by Nicholas Gurewitch
www.pbfcomics.com/

10 minutes till closing

Ok. So I've been stalling to make meaningful, thought provoking posts - crafted with witty phrases and sarcastic undertones too cool for school. Instead, it has evolved into blank procrastination.

I've decided to give myself a time limit. It's 10 minutes till closing at the office and I'm not about to do anymore work. Sorry Pam. I don't even know what I want to write about but I'm just going to keep typing till a subject comes to mind.

OK. NEW YORK CITY. I just came back from New York two nights ago and (this is good.. part of the reason for blogging is so that memories lose their fleeting abilities. Gotta catch 'em all. Pocket memories.... last minute cheese is always the best)

So New York. Rewind about a month ago and an email chain between my New Zealand study abroad flatmates resulted in agreeing to a reunion at Jurawa's place in Brooklyn. We all booked our flights and from all corners of the US we flew into the city - Joey from Oregon, Matt from Minnesota, Me from Southern California, JJ from Utah to meet Jurawa NY transplant from DC.

I got there Saturday in the morning on a red eye with a layover in Minnesota. The rest of them had arrive a day or two earlier and already had a couple shows (including a sound tribe and shout out out out out concert) under their belts.

CRAP - Six more minutes!

I'll have to make this rapid fire.... we walked to a bar wearing matching v neck white shirts with crazy ties and accessories (total hipster band look). saw a band called Grandchildren. ran back in the pouring rain. had a dance party with J's friends that moved to the rooftop and ended up with everyone's clothes in a pile. The view of manhattan was completely uncluttered and matt's balls made a guest appearance - to the windows, to the walls....

Sunday morning rain was not falling and maroon 5 can get out of my head. I went to Chinatown to meet with Kevin, Tiff, Mai and Yumi. Then to Joe's Shanghai to eat soup dumpings and then off to the Brooklyn Bridge! Walking... something I don't get to do in LA too often.

6:58!!!!

Skip to Monday morning: Said goodbye to Matt and Joey, JJ left the day before. Went to Time Square, ate oysters at Grand Central with Jurawa, Naveen, Kevin and Tiff. Then walked to Central Park with Tiff from Grand Central.

Saw SEVEN different asian couples taking their wedding pictures in Central Park. The place was so beautiful - it was right after the rain and the weather was a nice 75. I maybe shed a tear.

AHH 7pm. ok.. next time the time alotted definitely needs to be longer. But I'm a man of my word. Wishful thinking.

First Entry

If you don't know the purpose of something, you will abuse it.
Voddie Baucham